Stress & Resilience

Stress.... what a common word to hear today. Even more common, when asked "how are you?" a typical response is probably "good" because we don't have time or want to admit how stressed & overwhelmed we are. Maybe we feel it's a sign of weakness (it's not!) Another typical response is "busy!" I've said this one myself many times. However, being too busy isn't a good thing.

Personally, I am a victim to stress & overwhelm on the regular. Keeping a job, building a business, & raising 2 young children while maintaining my home along with my husband is no easy feat. I get trapped in this quite often and it's a daily practice to keep my head above water with stress and happiness. I try to meditate at least 5 minutes a day (but I'd love to sit for 1/2 hour!), my husband and I also do a short meditation at night and share 3 things we are grateful for that day, I see my therapist regularly, I keep up with friends and exercise daily. These are things that help me along with my yoga practice (which is mostly done when I teach :)

Let's read on to learn more about stress and how to cope with it.

First it's helpful to understand what stress is. We know how it feels but what IS it? It is basically the brains reaction to a perceived threat. Note the word perceived. In most situations, there is no actual threat - but our mind is making up stories about a situation and it also can include worrying. Your brain does not know the difference between these things or a tiger chasing you - the physiological response is the same. Chronic stress underlies the top 10 killers in America including heart disease, cancers, COPD, accidents, strokes, diabetes, mental health issues and more. Stress wreaks havoc on your metabolism, raises your blood pressure and more. Most of our stress response is mediated by cortisol release. We NEED cortisol to survive - it helps get our body ready for action (fight vs flight) by increasing our energy, cardiac output and emotional regulation - but like I said, our brain and body doesn't understand the difference between a legitimate threat or a perceived threat (i.e. stress). Short term, cortisol is good and is a survival tactic, but long term release is bad.

"We may not define it as such, but stress is the exact opposite of happiness. it is physically impossible to be both happy and stressed at the same time." Dr Brian King

So how do we decrease stress? There are certain habits that are common among stress resilient people. Mindsets such as acceptance, habits that reduce fear and anxiety (such as confronting rather than avoiding, exposure based therapy etc), and habits that elevate mood such as humor and optimism. Ask yourself - "so what?" for a perceived stress. What is the worst thing that can happen?

Wellbeing comes from within and will be unique to you. Take steps to listen to your body & mind, create a positive environment where you can succeed, seek support from others, be gentle & compassionate with yourself and remember that wellbeing is our natural inclination. Finally - savor successes!

Some actionable items to help cope with stress include journaling, accept a lack of control (easier said than done!!), schedule a worry break, mindfulness practices, exercise, take a vacation, talk with a trusted friend, show love and gratitude toward others, include humor in your life. Other ideas include body therapies such as massage or chiropractic, tai chi, yoga, art, breathing practices, occupational therapy, energy therapies, pet therapy, meditation, music and dance. Try keeping a gratitude journal and write 3 things every day that you are grateful for. Get out and appreciate nature daily, even if for a couple of minutes.

Last year, I had a huge opportunity to slow down and really work on some of these things. I broke my ankle slipping on the ice and in seconds, my world was turned upside down. Of course it was my right ankle so I couldn't drive & I needed surgery. My busy schedule full of events and appointments had to be wiped clean. I needed help with everything from walking to dressing, bathing and all the daily household tasks (laundry, cooking, cleaning, packing kids lunches etc). I was non-weightbearing for weeks. I couldn't work. I had to learn how to walk again. This was a hugely stressful time and at first I was angry and went through all of the negative emotions. But I quickly realized I had to surrender. There was no choice. Accept the help & meals from others. Let go of all the extra things - are they really that important in the grand scheme? Use this time to meditate more, journal, read books, watch shows I never had to a chance to otherwise & focus on my own healing. I shifted my mind set and turned it into a sort of retreat. What else was I supposed to do? And my type A nature that likes order and control was shown that everything was ok - our kids ate lunch even though I didn't pack it, the house stayed upright and everything was ok - event if it wasn't up to my "standards". Let the standards go! I am still working on this as a currently recovering perfectionist.
I just hope we all don't learn these lessons the hard way. It can be easy to slip back into our old mindsets when events like this pass but try to stay steady on the path to resilience and reduce stress.
Namaste!

"The purpose of our lives is to be happy" - His Holiness the Dalai Lama