Why India?

India has had a special place in my heart for years. It has held space for me in sorrow, joy, healing and more. So what brought me here in the first place?

During pharmacy school, I started taking classes from the Center for Spirituality & Healing (CSpH) at the University of MN. Classes such as meditation, aromatherapy, Tibetan Medicine & more were a welcome reprieve from the grueling classes in pharmacy school. Not that they weren't challenging, but I felt like I was using the other side of my brain and felt more balanced overall. After starting to meditate, I had less test anxiety, had fewer illnesses and it gave me the tools to get through a difficult time in my life - my divorce. In 2006, the same year I graduated from Pharmacy school, I had the opportunity to take the first travel to India class from CSpH, as long as I had completed the required classes before-hand. This trip was life changing.

A blast to all the senses, India was colorful, loud, beautiful, dirty, rich & poor - so many dichotomies happening at once. I loved the way spirituality was intertwined with every day life. After seeing the Taj Mahal & exploring Delhi, we first stopped at an ashram near Rishikesh before travelling north to Dharamshala - a Tibetan refugee community. At 22 years old, I had never heard of Tibet or the problem that existed for decades between Tibet & China. I came back to the US and the reality was difficult to realize how much we take for granted here. And yet, I wanted to go back. In 2008, I took the same exact class. Although this time we skipped Rishikesh and went right to Dharamshala. Again, such a rich experience. I ended up going back to the same ashram in 2010 with some friends and passed through in 2011 on my way to Nepal. In 2012, it was a very special trip - I took my then boyfriend Mark with me. I was going for an international pharmacy conference with two other pharmacists & one of their friends and we planned to do some travelling before and after the conference. I had a hunch and it was true- Mark proposed to me at the TAJ MAHAL of all places - it was completely epic. It was also completely awkward because the first instinct is to hug and kiss after such a proposal, but Indian social norms would say otherwise so we had to keep it modest!

I went back again in 2013 with friends to the ashram and for Ayurvedic pancha karma services. Fast forward a few years later and Veda had been born and we were trying for a 2nd child. After our 3rd and traumatic miscarriage in the 2nd trimester, we were both destroyed mentally and emotionally. After I had healed physically, it was Mark who suggested I go to India to heal. Weekly therapy while caring for a toddler and getting on with my busy work schedule was not enough to evoke deep healing. So off I went for 3 weeks to focus on my healing - during Mark's busiest time at work. It was the healing journey I needed and I wouldn't be the same had I not gone. My friend who went with me was also a god-send - she's humorous yet wise and was the perfect balance for what I needed. We first stopped to do pancha karma for my body which had been through so much. Then we went to the sister ashram to our normal ashram (but close enough to visit). There, we met with our beloved Swamis - one of which arranged a puja (fire ceremony) for the baby we lost. Afterwards, we went to the Ganges River - the mother. Here the ceremony continued as I released my baby's ashes into the river, as seen in the photo above. The entire trip's theme that evolved: surrender. A difficult thing for a pitta type like me.

Whew. Heavy right? You can see why India has such a huge piece of my heart. But my story with her isn't over..... Keep reading...

As we got our bearings again, we knew we still wanted to expand our family. Adoption was our next obvious choice and when choosing what type of adoption (foster care, domestic infant or international) - the choice was obvious: India. Making a long and arduous story short, the process took about 2 painful years. The waiting, the unknowns, the paperwork, the tens of thousands of dollars.... but on January 30th of 2020, we met our beautiful daughter Jayashri, then 17 months old, in her orphanage in the state of Tripura, India and we have never looked back.

India has been and always will be a significant part of my life and even more so now that we have an Indian family member - it's on my mind daily. Every time I come back from there, I look forward to the next time I get to go - usually not knowing when that will be.

So, it is with my honor that I invite you to come with me in October - to experience this precious part of our world first-hand. I would love to show you this piece of my heart and maybe you can understand why it means so much to me.

Thank you for reading this - a very personal and heartfelt story. One that is still evolving.